PRACTiCE, PRACTiCE, PRACTiCE...

When I was in school I was told what Lenin used to say: "Practise, practise and practise!" And when I couldn't always find the motivation I am now also lacking the patience to practise over and over again. If something is just not happening - I'm done with it. Therefore I was astonished to watch this little scene just before.

We were having lunch and without thinking much I unscrewed a drinking carton to give Leander something to drink. He reached his little arm - not for the drink but for the cap. I gave it to him and he again reached out his arm to place this cap on top of the opening in the carton. When it fell on the floor over and over again I placed himself on the floor with the cap and the carton and was sure the interest in this game would be over in now time (remembering my latest blog post). But this time I was wrong.



For several minutes he was highly concentrated and occupied with his self set task. He managed to place the cap on the hole but is not able to screw it yet. The cap would then always slip out of his fingertips into his hands which made the whole thing more difficult. And what I saw then really struck me.



He put the cap on the floor only to then pick it up carefully with his fingertips. And then he placed it back on top of the carton and so on.



And when I thought he might be getting frustrated because he was not able to screw it, so when the cap did stay on but was easily lifted it looked to me as if he was checking if it is fixated. Instead I realised that every time he just lifted the cap again to start his game over and over.


Now that was a lot of cap and carton talk. But who would have thought that this might be such a thrilling toy?
And again we learned - we do not need to teach anything. Not how to hold things, how to screw things or anything. And we do certainly not need to tell them how to do things better or different. When he put the cap down to grab it differently... that was one of those Aha-moments we want to miss as little as our children want to miss their learning experiences.


sorry for the terrible pictures I just could pull out my phone quickly otherwise I would have distracted Leander from his play.

FiNALLY CRAWLiNG - a lecture in patience

Just a couple of days before Christmas Leander has suddenly moved forwards. I had to watch him a while until he did it again. And again. And again. It was such a relief. For all of us.






I am not the most patient person in the world and my husband is neither. So you do the math on how much of patience our son has gained from both of us. And this is why the last few months have been quite tough for the Hilmar family. And a great lecture in patience.
When Leander was 6 months old I said to my husband "Won't be long until he's crawling. Look at his moves." Had I known by then how long it would still take I would have gone mad that moment.
Don't get me wrong. I was never one of those mothers desperate to have an early starter or worried he would be a bit behind in his development. And even if he would have been - with the surgery he had the best excuse for it. It was his frustration and his impatience that drove us all a bit mad. I was annoyed with Pikler and Gerber saying "watch your child. observe. Enjoy what he can do today and don't push him into doing something he is not ready for...." etc. I knew it was true and I tried. But on days when Leander wouldn't do anything but roll onto his belly and start crying out of frustration because he didn't know how to go on - it was hard. He started this game in the morning before I had finished my first cup of coffee and I had no idea how we both would survive the day.
Then, one day he discovered how to stand on hands and knees and this seemed to give him some self confidence. Something had happened and he realised this. Slowly. Again I said "He is close."
He was swinging back and forth while standing on hands and knees. Often. Sometimes he would give himself a push from his knees without moving his arms so he would fall head first on the floor. Tears. For weeks... I gave up on saying something.

A couple of weeks before Christmas I seriously thought he would never crawl. According to my mother in law my husband never did so I thought it's just in his genes. I was ready for it. I had realised that he was more into his fine motor skills anyway. When he found a toy with a label, a string or something he would try and grab that with his index finger and thumb. It was so cute to watch. Those little fingers. Trying to get pieces of fluff from the floor (telling me to clean up again?). So I figured he would do puzzles before he would set his feet on the ground.

And this was when he started to move. Slowly. First he was creeping. Using his arms to pull him along the floor. The next day you could see how he was looking for support from his legs. A couple of days later he was using arms and legs. And now he is just after me very very quickly. It is so great to watch. But the best thing is - he is so happy. So relieved. We have made his room and the living room safe for him to explore and this is what he does all day. We have removed the playpen and used pieces of that to secure places where he shouldn't be (near the stereo and plants etc.).

Interestingly the same day he started to move forward he sat up for the first time without falling right over again. It must have been absolutely exciting days for him. What I found most amazing was to watch his astonishment. He would sit up straight, lift his arms and watch them, turn them and twist his hands.

As if he could not believe that these were the same hands and arms that have just supported him on the floor. Over and over again he would hold his arms in front of him and watch. I was stunned. Pikler was right. Gerber was right. Sit and watch. Observe. Seriously, who needs TV ???