PRACTiCE, PRACTiCE, PRACTiCE...

When I was in school I was told what Lenin used to say: "Practise, practise and practise!" And when I couldn't always find the motivation I am now also lacking the patience to practise over and over again. If something is just not happening - I'm done with it. Therefore I was astonished to watch this little scene just before.

We were having lunch and without thinking much I unscrewed a drinking carton to give Leander something to drink. He reached his little arm - not for the drink but for the cap. I gave it to him and he again reached out his arm to place this cap on top of the opening in the carton. When it fell on the floor over and over again I placed himself on the floor with the cap and the carton and was sure the interest in this game would be over in now time (remembering my latest blog post). But this time I was wrong.



For several minutes he was highly concentrated and occupied with his self set task. He managed to place the cap on the hole but is not able to screw it yet. The cap would then always slip out of his fingertips into his hands which made the whole thing more difficult. And what I saw then really struck me.



He put the cap on the floor only to then pick it up carefully with his fingertips. And then he placed it back on top of the carton and so on.



And when I thought he might be getting frustrated because he was not able to screw it, so when the cap did stay on but was easily lifted it looked to me as if he was checking if it is fixated. Instead I realised that every time he just lifted the cap again to start his game over and over.


Now that was a lot of cap and carton talk. But who would have thought that this might be such a thrilling toy?
And again we learned - we do not need to teach anything. Not how to hold things, how to screw things or anything. And we do certainly not need to tell them how to do things better or different. When he put the cap down to grab it differently... that was one of those Aha-moments we want to miss as little as our children want to miss their learning experiences.


sorry for the terrible pictures I just could pull out my phone quickly otherwise I would have distracted Leander from his play.

i PLAY. YOU WATCH.

What becomes more and more fascinating in my life as a mother now is how this little person is interacting with us. The first time he smiles at you. The first time he reaches out his arms asking to be picked up. And the first time he throws a ball at you.






The obvious thing for us to do in response to that is to take the ball and throw it back. Gently. Laughing. So that's what I did but right in that moment Leander was actually getting ready to go after the ball himself. So next time he threw the ball at me I waited. He crawled towards me and picked up the ball. Threw it away and went after... over and over again.

When we went to pick up his dad from work one day Leander found the office football and started his game all over. Excited and happy. A colleague of my husband sat down and took the ball throwing it at Leander. He again just watched the ball roll pass him. He didn't move. He didn't go after the ball. This was not his game anymore. Exact same thing happened with another colleague. And I just watched this situation and smiled. THiS was what Emmi Pikler described in her book about the first games children play. They invent them. They invite you to play along. Or not. They say when and how.

Ever since Leander was able to crawl he had much fun in us chasing him (on our knees). While I sat in his room he would crawl out and behind the door he would make a noise like calling me. When I looked at him he quickly run off laughing out loud, almost falling over because of the laughter. I went after him. When I stopped following he stopped crawling too, sat up, looked back and when he saw me in starting position he would quickly crawl away again. But the most interesting part was that when I had reached him he was no longer interested. He made me go after him until he found some toy in the living room and that was it. He would sit up and play with the toy. Thanks for the fun mom but your time is up. I tell you when it's your turn again. And the most natural thing for me to do is to let him play. I happily play along if he invites me. But I also accept when my time is up.

The relaxing part of it - I don't have to come up with games and inventions that will entertain him. And that might bore him or overstimulate him. Quite often I read in forums from other mothers "what do you do with your kids at a certain age?" Well what I do with my son is I feed him, I change him, a bath him. I go out for a walk with him. These are the steady parts I have control over. The rest of the day is mainly up to him. He DOES. He plays. And I watch.